"Take me back through times that's over
Take me back to days gone by
Wish that I could take you and feel you standing by my side
Make me more than just a memory
Someone that you can't ignore
Take me back to when you loved me yesterday
To the day before"
The Day Before by North
The most frustrating part of a movie is the sad ending. The most difficult element of a relationship is the breakup. And the most challenging time of a breakup is the sweet moments in the past.
Why did you promise me you would never walk away? I told you I was not ready for a relationship. I told you I was afraid. If I gave my heart to you, it would be broken when you walked away. And eventually, you would walk away just like everybody else in my life. But you promised me you would NEVER walk away. Why did you make a promise that you could not keep?
When I touched the bottom of my life, I wish there could be somebody there for me. But now when you face a very bad time in your life, no matter how much I want to be there for you, you ironically push me away. It hurt me so bad when I see you get frustrated, anxious, and scared. It worry me when you act like you want to give up and simply don't care about anything anymore. But most importantly, it broke my heart when you told me you don't need and don't want me to be there for you.
Relationship is not just about happiness; it also includes sharing, listening, and getting over hardship together. I want to be there for you, but why do you close your heart? You want to isolate yourself from everybody, so why am I one of them? I thought I was different. I thought when you shut down your emotion from everyone, you would not do it with me. I thought I could be there for you. But you said you don't trust me. That you don't love me anymore. And that you don't whether I decide to stay or walk away from you. My heart broke when you said those things to me. My mind exploded when I heard that you don't have feeling for me anymore.
Even though we're done and it's over, I am not done, and it is not over. I still miss you and love you terribly. It still bothers and worries me seeing you like this. It hurt me when I don't know if you are doing alright. I wonder what you are thinking now. How are you now? Very happy or sad? Have you been thinking about me? I'm still the same. Still loving like before. Still the one following you, wishing you good luck, and wanting to be there for you.
Every time I walk around campus, our sweet memories come back so lively that I thought it was just yesterday when you held my hand. I miss every touch, every hug, every kiss, moment we had together. I miss it when you gave me the jacket when it was cold. I miss it when you took off my shoes for me at night. I miss it when you tell me how much you love me. I miss it when you kiss my lips, my hands, my wrist, my fingers, my cheeks, and my forehead. I miss the walk we took together. I miss the fun we had on the bench.
Why did you walk away? Why did you push me away when I want to be there for you badly? Why did you say no to my help? Why did you treat me like a casual friend? Why did you close and isolate yourself from me? Why did you break my heart after I gave it to you? Did you really want to break up? What do you want? Why can't you make up your mind? Do you still love me?
